Squeaky Floor

We have a very squeaky floor. It is wood, old wood, so I guess I should have expected it. But I failed to understand the magnitude of it's squeakiness.

To help you understand what I mean, here is a color coded floor plan. There are very few "safe spots".


It wouldn't be that big of a deal, if I didn't have kids. But... I do. And apparently it is difficult for them to sleep through what sounds like mating seals. Heh heh... I've never heard that, but Br and I both agree it is probably really noisy... and squeaky.

SO! I have discovered a way to get out of the hallway without making any noise! It looks something... uhlikeuhthis.

Story of my life.

Shoe Cup

So I have been gone a while. I went and got pregnant, then went and had a baby girl! You're thinking "and your point is...?" My point is I was tired and unmotivated ok?! Back off... :)

Br and I occasionally try to have grown up conversations. Always a mistake. It's like we never learn...

W. had been being really good, so Br decided to treat the little stinker to some root beer! What a nice Daddy.

 Then we thought we'd maybe talk to each other.

Oops.

Draw Your Arms!

Sorry it has been so long! I moved so it took a while to get a new schedule down for me and the babes.

Sometimes when I hear phrases, I like to think of them in a literal sense. Here is an example.

Get it, get it?! Eh? DRAAAW your arms.... DRAW THEM! BAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

Obnoxious

Sometimes Br and I like to be mean to each other. The other night, it went something like this:

Yeah, our marriage is great. :)

Scared Of The Dark

I'm scared of the dark. Correction, I'm scared of what LURKS in the darkness. It's usually not too bad. Since, usually, I'm sleeping when it is dark. There was, though, a few months where my son was up several times in the middle of the night, so I would need to get up.

If he was in really bad shape, I'd go into his room and try to get him back to sleep. Sometimes he would be up, but not screaming, so I would sit outside his door. Just in case I needed to rush in.

Those were the nights where I'd get rushes of adrenaline. If I could keep my eyes focused on my son's door, I did alright.

It was those gosh darn times when my eyes would wander. I have no clue why I couldn't stop myself, but it always happened!

I'd make that awful mistake, and this is what I would see coming straight for me. It would be a mix of Gollum, the zombie things from I Am Legend, and a lake monster.

Being a smart individual, I would quickly look away, knowing that if I pretend to have not seen it, it can't hurt me. It made for some very long nights.

Party Pooper

When I was young, I did not like my little sister. I believe it was mostly because I was 4 when she was born, and realized that she stole the limelight. Though that may have been the main reason, I believe there were other factors that contributed to my long felt hatred towards her. The following, is one of those factors.

I can't remember how old I was turning. But I was gonna have the baddest birthday part ever. It was CANDYLAND themed!

My mom had set up a "game board" all around our upstairs. The squares were just pieces of colored construction paper, but it looked awesome. The goal, of course, was to get to the finish line, and win your treat. Since it was my birthday, I got to go first! A whole lotta good that did me. 

All of my friends ended up finishing before me. Maybe my little sister was seeking revenge against me. If not, I have no idea what possessed her to ruin a perfectly wonderful party.

I can't remember how many times it happened, but I it seemed like I got that stupid "return to start" card every dang time. Being a kind, gracious woman, I'm sure my mom took it into her own hands to help me finish. Meanwhile, little sister's plan is coming together.

I was almost there, SO close, I could taste those delicious Tootsy Pops.

Then it happened. Little Sister pooped right in the middle of the floor. In front of all of my friends. In the midst of glorious celebration.

I will NEVER let her forget.

*disclaimer* My little sister and I are extremely close now. She is one of my best friends. I will probably have more stories like this regardless, because, heck, they are great material!

THAT'S MY UTERUS!

Something that has ALWAYS bothered me, even before having my son. What makes people think it is ok to come up to a pregnant lady, and feel her stomach? You aren't touching the baby. That's me. All the way.

Why Children Don't Share

I have often thought about how I am going to get my son to learn to share. One day it dawned on me why  it must be such a difficult concept for children.